Curating Your Circle

Updated: Mar 21, 2021

The more I get to know myself, the more I become intentional about who I associate with.


The personal relationships we build should be aligned with our values and aspirations; a friend is a true reflection of me. Her values and character tell a lot about me.


It’s not all about the number of friends we have but the quality; their character, vision and mission being aligned to ours. Friends are supposed to be our support system, add value and enrich our lives. Friends are supposed to help push “the agenda” Our friends should be our confidantes ; a place to run to when we are in need; be able to advise us, to make us better and help us live our full potential. What advice are we getting from the relationships that we’ve formed with people that we call friends? What value are they adding to our lives? Are they all about building you up to reach your full potential or otherwise? Are they pushing you to do what you wouldn’t have otherwise done? When alone in your closet what do you make of the advice, the adventure, the place you went to or the decision that you took because you were with your friend? Do you feel confident to voice your opinion or beliefs in the presence of the people you call friends? Have you ever felt that you’ve given your power to a friend just to please them, keep them or to blend in?


For as long as I can remember I have been looking for friends; any kind of friends to talk to, to go out with because I realized I’ve kept to myself so often that I didn’t have people to call friends. With time I realized that I’m not looking for just any kind of friends. What I was looking for and needed was a sisterhood that will build me; contribute positively to the advancement of my career: contribute to my growth including understanding the agenda because we will be on the same journey. A friendship that will teach me how to standout in my quest for financial freedom, in my quest to build an international career, brand and to be a well-rounded and balanced human being so I’m able to give my best to my God, my children, my family and to society.


I encountered someone in my quest to have friends and after about three visits decided against pursuing the relationship any further. The submissions of the person though wonderful, refreshing and all, was not aligned to what I’ve come to realize I needed in a friend. I had to therefore limit my interactions. Was that the right thing to do? I do not have all the answers, but it was good for me.


Just as a good romantic relationship can make an honourable person out of us so is a great choice of friends, sisterhood.


Who is your friend? Is your friend discussing business opportunities? Is your friend assisting you reach your full potential in terms of education, career, raising your children, in being the best partner, your safe haven, your stress relieve partner or is your friend leading you where you wouldn’t want to be? We should strive to build relationships that will add value to us and not take away.

Do we just accept anybody to build a relationship with because they approached us and wanted a relationship; someone introduced us; we knew them when we were younger; they have a pretty face; they are celebrities etc.


As we go through our daily lives and routines, let’s think of these.


We are at liberty to allow and disallow people into our lives. That is why it is important curate your circle of friends. If your circle isn’t nourishing and add value to you, then it’s time to evaluate your relationships.




#thegurlkode #beinspiredbythekode #kodedmag #womenwhowrite #writer #blogging #blogger #contributor #friendship #relationship


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